My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 5)

Howdy everybody,and today please to continue one’s weight loss story.

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See more: My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 4)

4-29-14: Skipped breakfast, had a Slim Fast bar for lunch, and Arby’s sandwich (no bread) for dinner with four cheese sticks later. Walked 40 mins. with Ripley. Got my injection and got asked how the diet was going. I lied and said good. Saw my therapist. She has a new understanding she said for the torture I’m going through. Ironically in the middle of the night while researching the cause of McKenna’s food aversion I found out the Effexor I took while pregnant caused her problem. I’ve been thinking about that all day.
4-30-14: Skipped breakfast, had turkey and cheese for lunch, two sugar-free puddings. Got groceries. Found out the statute of limitations for an Effexor case for McKenna is two years so she doesn’t qualify for a lawsuit since it’s passed. Dreamed about food again as I often do. Didn’t get much sleep.

My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 5)
5-1-14: Had turkey for breakfast and lunch. Last night I walked Ripley 30 mins. Ate four sugar-free puddings. My stomach was kinda messed up last night. I spiraled into a deep depression last night. My friend Holly had a hysterectomy yesterday. Finished off the puddings. Ate too much cheese. Finished that off, too. Was debating taking Ripley to this dog fest but not sure.
5-2-14: Walked Ripley 30 mins. yesterday. Had turkey for breakfast, roast beef for lunch and am still hungry. Haven’t exercised yet today. Went to a buffet with Jon last night and ate too much though I skipped a lot of bad foods and dessert. I had already eaten dinner but was still hungry. Didn’t get much sleep. Holly won’t be going home till tomorrow. Wound up not taking Ripley to the dog fest.
5-3-14: Walked Ripley 30 mins at low speed. But I was still tired. Had turkey for breakfast, roast beef for lunch, and salad, and something else for dinner that I can’t remember now. Had watermelon, 1 c. as I have been since Fri. for snack, among other things. I wanted dessert badly last night and when I visited Holly in the hospital yesterday there was a commercial for fancy cakes that about killed me. Didn’t get much sleep again. Holly goes home today. Today feels like Sunday for some reason. Ate two of my three allotted vegetables for the day. Still hungry though.

My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 5)
5-4-14: Lost 2 more lbs. for a total of 25 now. Had Canadian bacon
for breakfast, beef tips for lunch. Didn’t get much sleep. Allergies driving me nuts. Wound up eating another vegetable late last night cause I was starving and I hadn’t gotten my allotted veggies in. They told me to drink more water. I’m retaining water. Probably those three regular sodas I cheated with that they don’t know about.
5-5-14: Had four eggs for breakfast and was still starving. Saw my therapist. I’ve been letting her read my food journal a page at a time every week. Had turkey and cheese for lunch and two Clementines, plus more cheese later. Walked 30 mins. in 90 degrees. Had beef tips for dinner and more cheese. A cold front’s coming in. That’s 80 degrees for Texas. Been depressed about Mother’s Day but that’s normal.
5-6-14: Blew my diet with ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s had another new flavor, Milk & Cookies. Dammit. Had turkey for breakfast, fish for lunch, and pork loin for dinner. Was still hungry after dinner. Eating too many Clementines. Had nightmares. Didn’t get much sleep. Walked Ripley 30 mins. Have to start my 45 min. Exercise routine over tomorrow. Worked at a research study for one hour so I reset my hair appt. Didn’t get to make it to the clinic to get my injection so will go tomorrow. Been really screwy about Mother’s Day as usual every year.
5-7-14: Had peas for breakfast, blew my diet at lunch with a burger, fries, and Dr. Pepper with a friend, had pork loin for dinner with beets, two Clementines in between. Walked 45 mins. Didn’t get much sleep last night and had nightmares. Got my injection at the clinic. Ripley and I are back to our 45 min. Exercise routine again although today he acted kind of disoriented in the morning way before our walk. I hated to leave him to go have lunch with my friend. It’s like déjà vu all over again from a year ago when he had his first seizure.
5-8-14: Had Ovaltine with non-fat skim milk for breakfast, fish for lunch with two salads, and having a burger for dinner, no bread. Walked 45 mins. today. Ripley and I are back to our 45 min. Routine although I think he’s going deaf now. Today is Birth Mom’s Day. Didn’t get much sleep.
5-9-14: Mother’s Day. Always hard for me. Skipped breakfast, had a hamburger for lunch, then blew my diet at dinner with Jon eating out with a steak, two helpings of mashed potatoes, a Dr. Pepper, mozzarella sticks. Walked 45 minutes. Still have this cold. Didn’t have a good Mother’s Day. Glad it’s over. A new litter of kittens was born here, the second Mother’s Day this has happened.
5-10-14: Skipped breakfast, had salmon for lunch and having chicken for dinner. Walked 35 minutes. Didn’t get much sleep. Still have this cold after 2 ½ months. Got my B12 shot at my family dr. and reset the appointment to fill out paperwork for the group for next Monday Was just too tired. It’s extremely windy but very hot. My eyes are swollen from allergies. I think the litter of kittens died. I’m so behind on everything.
5-11-14: Had two eggs for breakfast, a smoothie for lunch, and two turkey burgers, no bread for dinner. Got my injection. Saw my new psychiatrist and he switched me to Abilify which he says won’t make me gain weight and will give me energy, thank God. Walked Ripley 45 mins. Didn’t get much sleep and felt sick last night. Had a really bad headache earlier. Not eating enough vegetables. Too lazy and depressed.
5-12-14: Skipped breakfast, had turkey and cheese, cheese sticks for lunch, cherries (12 allowed) for snack, and salmon for dinner. Got groceries. Will run out of food again like last week because I needed cat food again. My exercise today was wrestling with an ottoman (sectional) I found, getting it in the door; etc. It barely fit in my trunk or my front door. Lost 2 more lbs. 27 lbs. lost now. Started taking my Abilify today. It did give me energy but still tired.
5-13-14: Had turkey for breakfast, four eggs for lunch, and a hamburger, no bread for dinner with two salads. Was so tempted to try a new Nestle ice cream on a stick flavor tonight that I saw for the first time but didn’t. Walked Ripley 45 minutes. Didn’t feel like it. Saw my therapist. She says I seem a little more confident and that I used to look haggard and complain all the time. Holly said she can tell my stomach’s flatter. I noticed in a window that I don’t look like I’m carrying twins now but I have a long way to go.
5-14-14: Had four eggs for breakfast, hamburger, no bread for lunch, didn’t get to take my second appetite suppressant till 5 or 6 cause I was getting my hair done. Had chicken for dinner and blew my diet with a brownie for dessert. Didn’t exercise cause I was too worn out after sitting in a salon chair for four hours then having to run two errands. Still have this cold. It poured rain for four hours. Starving. Had nightmares. Found out Medicare won’t cover my Abilify till my dr. calls in pre-authorization and says why I have to take it. Otherwise the cash price is over $500.00.

My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 5)
5-15-14: Had four eggs for breakfast, salmon for lunch, and trout for dinner. Had cheese and fat-free pudding for snacks. Walked 30 mins. I swear these Abilify samples are making me tired. They’re supposed to give you energy but the doctor said there is one person he knew of that it made tired. Well, I must be the second one. Lucky me. Didn’t get much sleep. Am still so behind on everything. Had a nightmare again that I was at Gladney which I dream every month or so. Had two crackers which I’m not supposed to have.
5-16-14: Had four eggs for breakfast, trout for lunch, and two pop-tarts for snack, only cause they were free, but that’s no excuse. Haven’t had dinner yet and it’s after 7 but not hungry. I walked 40 minutes plus did some lifting. Tired. Still dream about food.
5-17-14: Had Pop-tart for breakfast, trout for lunch, and beef tips for dinner. Thought of suicide today. Haven’t exercised yet cause it’s storming outside. Met with the Delayed Trauma Group therapist to get into the group which starts the 25th for six months. I really liked her. She almost made me cry a couple of times. Abilify doesn’t seem to be working. Didn’t get much sleep. Plus nightmares as usual. Looking forward to this group. Hope I can stick with it.
5-18-14: Had boiled eggs for breakfast, tuna fish for lunch, and black beans for dinner. Starving. Walked 30 minutes with Ripley. Didn’t get much sleep. Still trying to resolve the Abilify problem with pre-authorization. Got depressed today. No gas money. Getting low on gas. Supposed to get food tomorrow and have an appointment with the weight loss clinic.
5-19-14: Skipped breakfast, had chicken and cheese for lunch, and two yogurts with cherries for snack. Lost 2 lbs. for a total of 29. Didn’t get much sleep. That Abilify keeps me up. Was almost 5 by the time I got to sleep. Walked 30 minutes slowly cause my stomach’s upset. Had nightmares but then a great dream about McKenna and the beach so the nightmare was worth it. They told me to drink more water at the clinic and that I can’t have pineapples or bananas.
5-20-14: Had chicken for breakfast, no bread, the rest of the cherries, late lunch of a hamburger, no bread, fish and salad for dinner. Walked 30 mins. Had a research study at the last minute. Didn’t get much sleep. The research coordinator and another volunteer said I looked like I lost weight. One of the doctors said you could tell I exercise. No one has ever said that to me before. Had an ice cream bar.
5-21-14: A couple of days ago I was at 90 days in this program. Had four eggs for breakfast, 2 yogurts, hamburger, no bread for lunch, having chicken for dinner. Had one cookie at the store. Walked 45 minutes. My foot is killing me. Didn’t get much sleep. Am off the Celexa as of a couple of days ago.

My 90 day journey of a new weight loss so far (Part 5)
5-22-14: No breakfast unless you count two bowls of salad in the middle of the night cause I was starving. Had a can of tuna for lunch, no bread, and four eggs for dinner. Walked 45 minutes. My friend’s mom died today suddenly, unexpectedly. Didn’t get much sleep. I need to get my heel x-rayed.
5-23-14: Blew my diet. Had four boiled eggs for breakfast, Milky Way dark chocolate bar for lunch, and quarter pounder with cheese for dinner. Plus had a cookie, two King Dons, a bag of Sun Chips for snack. Worked with a pet photographer for eight hours today. Left the house at 10:30 a.m. and didn’t get home till after 11 cause I got lost twice. Didn’t get much sleep. My foot is killing me. Have to elevate it. Oh, my exercise was unloading and loading the photographer’s SUV with her.
5-24-14: Had 2 yogurts for breakfast, turkey for lunch, no bread, and turkey burger for dinner, no bread. Walked 45 minutes. Got depressed. Didn’t get enough sleep. Nightmares, too. Had one cookie in the store. I have bags under my eyes. The Delayed Trauma group has moved to another week from tomorrow.
5-25-14: Had four eggs for breakfast, turkey burger, no bread for lunch, and haven’t gotten hungry for dinner yet. Walked an hour. Almost got my foot x-rayed. Can hardly walk on it but can’t stop exercising. Today one of my great nephews graduated from kindergarten and it’s one of my stepbrothers birthdays. I’ve known the latter since he was 14. He’s 49 today. Didn’t get much sleep again. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to have a heart attack with all this anger.

Nick Carter

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